Eulogy for Rachel Evans-Milne Funeral 2.30pm Wednesday 11 November 09 The Buddhist Centre, Tichbourne Street, Brighton BN1 1UR Rachel Evans-Milne, born 20 October 1965, Heol Dolwen, Whitchurch, Cardiff; died 3 November 2009, Varndean Gardens, Brighton, aged 44. Wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, cousin ... Artist, tutor, counsellor, colleague, friend. Today we mourn her passing and celebrate her life. How can anyone sum up that life? I expect many people this afternoon will talk about what she meant to them, and for me four key qualities stand out: Kindred spirit: She was a kindred spirit to so many people. She had a unique ability to relate to each one of us at a profound level. She knew what each of us was feeling and could readily empathise with us – but always without sentimentality. Creative: She was genuinely creative, both in her work as an artist and sculptor and in the way she lived her life. Every piece she produced as an artist was more than a professional statement – it was a stage in her own life journey. In the end I think her greatest work as an artist was her own life. Wise: She was wise – a wise woman. That wisdom made her a blessing to those she counselled professionally, particularly children and young people. It also made her a blessing to her family and friends. Her wisdom was often challenging, gently encouraging you to reappraise how you approached an issue or situation. Selfless. Many people say that have never met anyone who was as selfless as Rachel. She was genuinely focussed on the interests of others. So she was a kindred spirit, creative, wise and selfless – and she is gone. What is left for those who remain? I think there is grief, anger – and then hope. Grief: First of all tremendous grief. Today for all of us is just one stage in coming to terms with that grief. Anger: Many of us at some time in the two years since Rachel was diagnosed have felt anger – anger that she was being taken away from us by a cruel and remorseless illness. Yet Rachel herself rarely expressed negative emotion – she was serene, uncomplaining, inclusive. Even facing death, she showed us how to live - and being with her on that journey profoundly changed us for the better. Hope: After the grief and the anger, there is hope. Rachel was a strong and deeply optimistic person. She believed that things could be achieved – and that the best way of achieving them was to get on with it. That strength and optimism was infectious – we all caught a bit of it and drew our own strength from her. I hope we will hear some instances of that this afternoon. Rachel was an exceptional human being and things will never be the same for the scores of people whose lives she touched. We are the poorer for her passing - but we can all continue to draw inspiration from her life. That is her legacy to us all.